Wow! I knew my husband and I aren't alone in trying to understand the many options -- and obstacles -- to caring for an aging parent but I think we were both a bit surprised to see how many people are affected and how we share many of the same concerns and frustrations even though our parents' circumstances can be so different.
The other night I, along with two other agents in my office, co-sponsored a seminar at the Ridgefield Community Center directed toward baby boomers caring for their aging parents. Our role as real estate agents was to provide help and guidance in the potential sale of the parents home. Beyond the actual sale we've offered to provide significant help in organizing and dispersing the family possessions and help in getting the house in the best shape for show. We also are available to help parents purchase or rent a home that is more manageable and closer to adult children. For this seminar we were silent partners as the focus was primarily on services provided by visiting nurses, an assisted living facility, rehabilitation facility and an elder care attorney.
The overall message they gave is one of help and caring. While the initial realization that your parent is having difficulty caring for him or herself is somewhat shocking, through networks and referral groups such as the one that sponsored this seminar, there are many caring people to guide you through the process.
Visiting nurses, in Ridgefield or your parents' hometown, can help evaluate a parent's ability to care for himself. They look for signs that the parent is failing in hygiene, not eating properly or showing signs of dementia. If a parent has been in the hospital and needs rehabilitation before returning home, there are facilities such as Laurel Ridge which can provide that interim care and help you set up safe living conditions when your parent does return home. Assisted living facilities such as Ridgefield Crossings are a far cry from what you might picture in movies or remember from long ago days visiting an elderly relative. Quality of life often improves for residents as they are no longer prisoners in their home and gain many social opportunities.
One important message was the need to contact an elder care attorney as soon as possible. These attorneys, explained Michelle Liquori, of Cramer & Anderson, specialize in issues relating to the elderly and can set up healthcare directives, write wills, and provide guidance in protecting parents' assets.
There is much to think about when you become the caregiver or administrator of your parent. It is good to know that help is out there and groups such as the one I am involved with are there to help.